Since I’m an American that grew up on our own brand of football, I am new to a word that is used in soccer to describe long-range, high speed, curving soccer kicks that leave everybody standing in absolute bewilderment. The word? Thunderbastard.
For 2017 and beyond, I simply want to find ways to use the word thunderbastard in conversations that don’t involve a soccer match. I don’t know if this counts as my New Year’s resolution, but I am up for the challenge to introduce this word into my lexicon.
Concerning the weather:
“That snowstorm was a thunderbastard. The road crews couldn’t keep up with it.”
Upon receiving shocking news from a friend:
“They are getting a divorce?!? That’s quite the thunderbastard!”
After eating a surprisingly great sandwich:
“That catfish po’ boy was a thunderbastard of a meal.”
Getting a finger pinched in a kitchen drawer:
It is my belief that this word has yet to tap into its potential for cross-cultural appeal. Why to we only use this term to describe the amazing goals scored by such soccer players as Cristiano Ronaldo, Gareth Bale and Wayne Rooney? Going forward, let us all try to incorporate this absurdly hilarious word into our everyday lives. I know I can’t wait to sneak this word by an unsuspecting co-worker or the lunchtime counter workers at Chipotle.
For me, it would be a rare treat, just like a Charlie Adam thunderbastard from the other side of the pitch. Exactly.