In 21st Century America, government and its citizens have become more polarized than ever before. A proverbial line in the sand has been drawn, and people all across the country have chosen their side. The “gray area” has become more “black and white”. Choose an allegiance, or be cast out. Liberal or conservative? Reform or status quo? Revert or broaden?
Contrary to what is projected on television, social media and the many other channels of communication, there are citizens among us that support LGBTQ rights while really enjoying Chick-fil-A. Citizens that support gun rights that don’t necessarily have a cache of weapons in their house. People that believe in America, but are alienated by the incessant bombardment of childish arguing by both groups of people that are divided by the line in the sand.
A growing fraction of people on both sides of the line have had enough of the current rhetoric that doesn’t represent their ideology. All of the distraught from both sides are taking their proverbial ball, and going home to start anew. The Moderate Party is born.
THE LOGO–THE OWL
Usually the most important attribute of a political party revolves around its ideology. Since Moderates have varying stances on a variety of public policies, a defined ideology would only provide for an excellent oxymoron. There are other ways for Moderates to develop an identity, and a fun way of displaying their affiliation would be with an animal, symbolically representing a given ideology. Democrats have the donkey, Republicans have the elephant and Libertarians have the porcupine. According to me, Moderates should adopt the owl. Since Thomas Nast (1840–1902) isn’t around to provide a drawing, I decided to draw the Moderate Party logo myself…poorly.
So…why the owl?
Owls have excellent vision. Owls have excellent hearing. Owls are found in most regions of the world. Owls are symbols of wisdom in modern Western culture. These are four noble reasons why the owl would be an excellent choice to represent the Moderate Party. A fifth reason for the owl is not noble but hilarious, and something I have experience with from looking out into my backyard in the middle of the night: Owls love to perch on fences.
Moderate voters are usually defined as a group of people that see both sides of a policy, so it would be appropriate to be symbolically represented by an animal that sees, “both sides of the fence”. Also, the addition of the owl logo will cement the Moderate Party as a legitimate organization of voters and government officials. To prove my point, look no further than the Green Party. They do not have a symbolic animal representing their ideology, and nobody really takes their political party seriously. Of course I’m just kidding Green Party, but not really.
THE COLOR PURPLE
On television, online, in newspapers and on political advertisements, the major American political parties are usually represented by the same colors. Democrats are blue, Republicans are red, Libertarians are yellow, and (if anybody notices) the Green Party is shown as…green!
If Moderates are always portrayed to be some hybrid mix of Democrats and Republicans, then it would only be appropriate to be represented by the color purple. The only un-American part about the color purple is that it has always been associated with being the color of kings and queens. I’m sure trolls on social media would try to stir up some insane conspiracy theory that Moderates will turn the United States back into a monarchy based on the color they identify with. I’m sure 99% of the population wouldn’t read too far into the color choice. Every American should know we were founded on renouncing the English crown, and at the same time knowing that we love Burger King a little too much.
POTENTIAL CAMPAIGN SLOGANS FOR THE PRESIDENCY
When the time comes for someone to run for President on the Moderate Party ticket, it will probably be assumed that the Moderate candidate will reveal an ideology that sometimes leans liberal and at other times more conservative. Campaigns, along with their accompanying slogans, will predictably be safe and appealing to a wide audience.
A vast array of presidential slogans have been virtually the same over the years, and some can be updated to reflect the issues that voters will potentially be focused on in 2020.
A slogan that could cater to liberals and conservatives:
Herbert Hoover (1928) — “A Chicken in Every Pot and a Car in Every Garage.”
Modern Version — “Legalization of Pot and Two Guns in Every Garage.”
A candidate/incumbent at some level of government needs to use this slogan simply for the media buzz it would provide.
A slogan that calls for change, but acknowledging that not everything in America is bad:
James Cox (1920) — “Peace. Progress. Prosperity.”
Modern Version — “Reform. Reliance. Responsibility.”
A slogan that reflects a changing America heading further into the 21st Century:
Al Gore (2000) — “Leadership for the New Millennium.”
Modern Version — “Leadership for the Modern America.”
Or perhaps a new creative slogan that acknowledges liberals and conservatives:
“The Only Candidate LEFT to Make the RIGHT Decisions for America.”
This slogan proves that marketing firms, consultants and advertising agencies do not have to be hired and be paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to come up with a clever slogan. If anybody uses this one and a multi-million dollar company claims this as their own genius, we the people need to cry shenanigans.
MODERATES ARE GARNERING ATTENTION
I’m old enough to remember political humor. Now in America, (unfortunately) political humor is an oxymoron. Both groups divided by the line in the sand constantly shout across the line at each other, pushing agendas, ideals and values on people that have completely different interpretations of what is important to humankind.
The United States of America. It sounds so regal, so organized. Truthfully, we have had many decades in our nation’s history where we fought against each other. We don’t have to go far back in time to witness our own in-fighting. Vietnam. The 1968 Race Riots. The Civil Rights Movement. Prohibition. Polarizing times in our nation’s history, all of which took place in the last 100 years.
The owl is perched on a fence at night. On one side, a donkey is kicking the fence with its hind legs, belting out a steady “HEE HAW!!!”. On the other side, an elephant is trumpeting its own powerful sound, flapping its ears and stomping around. Meanwhile, a porcupine walks quietly on the ground among the chaos, going back-and-forth between sides of the fence through a small hole in the bottom. It is a witness to the commotion, but takes a “Laissez-faire” approach when navigating the situation.
Suddenly, a light comes on. It is shining from the back of a neighboring house. A man opens a back door to the house, takes a few steps outside, and faces in the direction of the animals.
“WILL ALL OF YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!!??!! IT IS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!!! WE ARE ALL TRYING TO SAVE OUR ENERGY FOR THE NEXT DAY!!! I SUGGEST ALL OF YOU HEED MY ADVICE!!!”
The man slams the door behind him, the lights go out in the house, and quiet is abound. The elephant, still stunned at what just happened, looks at the owl on the fence.
“Wow! I guess he does have a point. I’m going to bed. Who was that guy anyway?”
Baffled, the owl keeps his eyes on the house while replying to the elephant.
“I don’t know. But he looked a lot like Ralph Nader.”